Just a Contract
by Michaelalizzy
Summary: The only relationship they will ever have is through their contract... right? Ciel can't stand the fact that the man he loves is always beside him but he is never allowed to act on his feelings. But when that demon almost takes his soul... will Ciel be to one to stop it?


**Told in Ciel's point of view, right after the end of season one, just before Sebastian takes Ciel's soul. That's all I'm going to say for now. XD Hope you guys like it!**

_**Disclaimer: Ciel and Sebastian: not mine. Yana Toboso's. **_

My eyes fluttered shut. I couldn't watch. I couldn't watch as my demon took my soul. I couldn't watch as the one I love took my soul. Especially not in a way such as this. With his face, so close to mine, his lips, so close to mine. I knew I signed up for this, and I know our deal was complete, our contract over, but I wish… I just wish that… _this_, could last a little longer. This closeness, this informality, this privacy and seclusion could last just a moment longer.

I could feel his breath on my cheeks, his lips barely brushed against mine and I shuddered. Shivers ran down my spine and I could practically hear my demon smirk. No, I had to remind myself, he's not my demon… not anymore. He is _the_ demon. He is the very epitome of sinful darkness, where I had foolishly chosen to pin my affections to.

My lips trembled, and I knew it, a cold wind blew through and I shivered again as goose bumps appeared on my bare arms and legs. I kept hoping this wouldn't work, that something would go wrong, but what could? The demon in front of me never made mistakes.

"Wait!"

The word erupted from my mouth before I had time to stop it. My hands lashed out on their own accord and pushed him away, "Please, wait!" I had no control of my body, nothing would reply to my head's incessant demands to hold still, to accept what's coming.

His red eyes blinked, "Yes… my lord?" There was a slight pause after the 'yes', he was able to accept it was up, he knew it was over. Of course he was, he was about to get his prize.

My arms, stretched out in front of me, as if that's offer me any protection, jerked back, once again under my control. Too agitated to blush, I mumbled, "Sorry, just, please, hurry up. I can't- I can't stand it."

"With pleasure, young master."

But this time, when his face neared mine, I kept my eyes locked on his. I could feel my eyelids threatening to close under his intense gaze but I forced them to stay open. I got myself into this mess, as a Phantomhive, I got through this mess, as a Phantomhive and I will leave this world, acting as a Phantomhive should. With pride, dignity and nobility.

He halted and I looked at him questioningly. He stumbled backwards, tripped over his own feet and hit the hard concrete floor with a painful sound. He remained silent but his red eyes were full of fear and shock.

His lips opened and a short, soft word escaped, "N-no."

Now what's happening? Why isn't he taking my soul? Isn't that what he wanted? The only reason he stayed? I knew, no matter what, no matter what happens, no matter how many questions I come up with, I will not ask them. I will not show my feelings. I will seem indifferent. That demon will not know that I care. That demon will not know that I love him.

"I- I can't."

I pressed my lips together slightly. Why can't he just do this so I don't have to sit here any longer? Can't he see it's much harder for me? Can't he see the longer I see his perfect face, the harder it gets? But I refused to say anything, refused to even show anything.

"Ciel…"

Okay, that startled me more than I care to admit. He had never spoken my name directly to me before and it felt… nice… but there was no time for that. My heart was still pounding and my stomach just kept raveling itself in knots. Blood pounded in my head, threatening to make me pass out. I tried to swallow past the lump in my throat but failed miserably.

"I won't."

I tried to keep any reaction to myself, away from my face, I really did, but all I wanted to do was what I always wanted to do, I wanted to ask what's wrong, to see if I can help, to comfort the demon before me. Not being able to killed me. But…

But his eyes… were so… mesmerizing. I've never seen them so scared or apprehensive before. I wasn't quite sure I liked it. This demon was always so collected, so perfectly poised, fear or anxiety didn't suit him.

"Ciel, I-"

But his stance… was so… fearful. Sitting on the ground, knees and legs in such a way they looked like he was trying to protect himself, fingers splayed out behind him in an attempt to support his weight. This demon was always one step ahead of everyone else, destined to never lose.

"No."

But his aura… was so… black. I could practically feel the cold hard trepidation emanating from his soul, the very essence of his being. This demon was always so good at hiding his emotion this vulnerability was new to both of us.

Throwing away my promise not to speak, I addressed the demon in front of me, "What happened?" I hated hearing my voice so raspy, as if I hadn't spoken in years, "Can't you just do it already? This is what you wanted, right?"

The demon's voice was rasping as well, even more than mine, "No, I-I can't."

"And why not?" I tried to keep my voice steady but was very unsuccessful.

"Be- because… you…" He trailed off, leaving me wondering.

That was when I snapped, "Oh, just do it already! I can't stand it! I can't stand looking at you! Not when I love you so much!" Realizing what I said, I felt my face heat up in the cold night. But I was about to die anyways, what did it matter? Might as well go the whole way… "Just hurry up and take my soul already! Can you not see? This is hard enough, seeing you and knowing it's impossible! Why can't you do this, just tell me goddamn it!"

The demon shakily stood up and walked over to me, oh no, did I go too far? He took my chin in his hand and I watched as, for the third time today, his face, his lips, came closer to mine. After my outburst, I no longer tried to hide my emotions. I let everything play out on my face, for the first time in three years.

This time, our lips finally made contact and I tried not to flinch away. This was similar to a kiss but I knew it wasn't. It was too close to being one for comfort and too far from one to satisfy me. I expected pain any minute, the pain of my soul being consumed. The essence of my life being sucked out of its mortal body. That's what I had signed up for and that's what should have happened.

So when I felt a wet tongue gently push in between my lips I assumed it was the 'procedure' for consuming souls. But when the tongue started running across my own and exploring my mouth, I began to get suspicious. It didn't hurt like I expected it to, it hurt in a different way. Despite my outburst, we still couldn't work out as a couple for multiple reasons. Him making fun of me like this, mocking me, hurt me in every way possible. But I couldn't hate him for it.

The demon pulled away and I glared at him, "You demon!" I spat, "Stop teasing me, you bastard! You know how I feel so why can't you just get on with it?" I was practically begging him; my heart couldn't take any more of this.

The demon kissed my cheek, making my stomach clench in embarrassment, anger and longing, a mixture I wasn't fond of. "Ciel, I can't do this. You're my master, forever and always. A completed contract isn't going to change that."

My heart pounded; I knew he was lying, demons lie all the time, but he seemed so sincere at that moment, I couldn't help but believe him.

"Young master, I am still your butler and I still cannot lie. You can't make me eat your soul, it simply belongs to me."

"I don't believe you, demon." I crossed my arms over my chest and glanced over to the side. I would not look at him, I swore. I would not look at him no matter what.

"Ciel, I thought I taught you not to lie. You believe me, whether you want to or not. You just don't want to admit it."

"I know what I-!" My hoarse voice was cut off by his lips again. He once again shoved my lips open but this time, I couldn't help but join him in dancing. It was too tempting. _He_ was too tempting. That intoxicating aura, the alluring scent, the enthralling movements. I knew it was too late to go back, I knew that I shouldn't, that I would regret it but if these truly were my last moments, I wanted to make them memorable.

His hands moved behind my head and helped me find an angle so he could dive in deeper and I found myself leaning in further. It may have been embarrassing but it may as well be the last thing I remember.

He pulled away and if I wasn't Ciel Phantomhive I would have whimpered pathetically. But I am, so I didn't. I couldn't. Not in front of… _him_… not in front of the demon. He wouldn't know how much this affected me. He would never find out. But, oh, how I wish he would just end this!

"Ciel, I- I… I mean to say… I- I like you… I can't hurt you now… not now… not ever…"

I blinked, was this really happening? My body began to heat up again and I blinked a couple more times, "Really? Or is this just another mind game?" I croaked.

"Really, I do." He seemed so desperate, so confused, so helpless. So… captivating…

"I- I like you too…

Sebastian…"

**So, I found it appropriate to write this after what happened to me yesterday. Can anyone guess what it was? It started with a simple text message. It went from there. And I think I'm going out with someone. I'm still in slight shock but I'm pretty happy, I just have some urge to tell everyone. And I mean EVERYONE. XD Whenever I think about it my heart speeds up a little. It's racing right now. But I'm scared to death to text him now. I think he's hanging with his friend now and I don't want to interrupt… I wonder if he's going to homecoming tomorrow… **


End file.
